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Monkey Pants Pick-Up Lines

September 11, 2012

Look, this post is going to be a little short. I’ve been sick with stabbing stomach pains, and just woke up from over 12 hours of being asleep. Also, I have a pain in my neck that won’t go away. Also, I got caught up eating my bon-bons and watching my shows.

What? I’m trying to be a good home-maker.

Yesterday, Bill posted about 9/11, so I’m not going to. Everyone else will, and I’d like to provide a little escapism.

And man, have I got a story for you, kids. It seems that 3 guys got arrested the other day for trying to smuggle monkeys out of India in their pants.

It seems they got caught when “Custom officers … spotted a bulge in one man’s underwear.”

  • “Is that a monkey in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”
  • “Hey baby- wanna see my prehensile tail?”
  • “I gotta monkey you can tame right HERE” (gestures at crotch)
  • “Monkeys usually only hang off the largest limb on a tree… wanna see?”
  • “Would you like free admission to my private zoo?”

All joking aside, the poor things are a delicate species and are currently in a deteriorating state… likely to die.

And all that monkey wanted was a banana.

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