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Is Keith Ellison a Baby Murdering, Christian Mutilating Freedom Hater?

August 8, 2012

Of course he isn’t. Congressman Ellison is a freedom loving man who has never murdered a single baby and wouldn’t harm a hair on a Christian’s head. Nobody would make such wild accusations against a congressman. If they did, they’d have to be totally bananers.



Oh, wait.



would you trust a man who swore his oath on a book once owned by Thomas Jefferson?



Meet Gary Boisclair. Gary is running against Keith Ellison for a congressional seat in Minnesota’s 5th district. Gary will lose because Gary’s crazy. If that ad wasn’t enough for you, he did another one about abortions (click here for the ad. The embed code isn’t working for this which is okay since it’s super gross and chock-full-o’-fetuses. I don’t want all those fetii clogging up my blog).



For more information about how Gary’s batshit insane, let’s look at his website, garyinthehouse.com



Do you think he flirted with the idea of making the domain “garyinDAhouse.com”? I’d like to think he did.




1. Boom. First image on the headline banner? Most candidates would go with a picture of themselves or their family or their campaign logo. Not Gary. Fetus in yo’ face! Ellison kills these! And probably eats them on Ramadan or something! Sharia Law!

2. That “click here to learn more” link? Click it and it takes you to a two page diatribe written by lunatic Randall Terry about how The economy sucks because God’s punishing us for abortions. Really.



Randall Terry screaming at gay people with a megaphone.




3. Oh hey look how all his press releases and news links are only about how awful his ads are and how TV Stations are only running them because they’re legally required to.



I really take comfort in the fact that this guy has no chance of winning. His brand of Islamophobic fetus fetishism might fly in Bachmann’s neck of the woods but Minnesota’s fifth district consists of Minneapolis and a couple of immediate suburbs. Who would even help bankroll this guy’s awful ads?



Come to think of it, I would. I would donate to this guy’s campaign.



Think about it. It’s well established that Boisclair has absolutely no chance of winning. The man’s clearly insane, he’s running as a “tea party Democrat” which just confuses people and he’s spouting anti-Muslim rhetoric in a district that houses 80% of the state’s Muslim population.



Now that we’ve made it clear that there’s no way this guy would win, wouldn’t you want to donate to his campaign just to see the crazy ads he’d make between now and election day?



Think about it. If the christian killing and dead fetus parade ads were just the first two and political ads get more heated and inflammatory the closer it gets to election, where would he go from here? I kind of want to donate just to see if he can make one of Ellison hitting a pregnant woman in the stomach with a Koran or photoshop him in a cave with Osama Bin Laden eating babies or something. I kind of want to see just how far this nutjub will go.



Kind of. I’m not actually going to give him any of my money. Guy’s a goddamn loon.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 8, 2012 9:32 pm

    You know what’s off-topically funny (aside from the way your blog is funny)? I’m at a Disney Resort. They won’t let me access Dlisted (trashy but tame celeb gossip) because it’s R-Rated (!!! Seriously, it blocks the page for me.) and yet they’ll let me watch dead fetus videos. C’mon Disney.

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