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CONvergence Remembered (hazily).

July 10, 2012

Another year of CONvergence is gone and while I’ll miss it terribly, I’m so glad it’s over. Between performing in ten shows and working the Stand Up! Records party room I didn’t get to see much of the convention but I was able to get a lot of the late night experience and here’s a few impressions that I’m left with about the convention and nerds in general.



Nerds are all a bunch of goddamn pervs.

It’s true. Remember the Convergence Cosplay Bingo Board square that just said “Bondage gear that probably has nothing to do with sci-fi fandom”? That one was pretty easy to fill.

Only one person brought the board back to me with coverall. I taped it up to the wall of the party room. Apparently “Waldo” was the hardest one to find. No joke.

Here’s another example. I went to craigslist personals and typed “Con” into the search bar. this is just one of the ads that came up.

CON .. – m4w – 26

Date: 2012-07-09, 9:37AM CDT
Reply to: 9jcds-3127839842@pers.craigslist.org

You attempted to whip me.. I know you couldnt let loose but I forgive you and thank you for the good time
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3127839842

If that ain’t enough, here’s a little ditty from my Friday night wanderings. I was waiting to go to the bathroom by the pool area. This particular bathroom was in a hallway a bit out of the way from the room parties next to the sauna. While I waited an employee or CON volunteer (they were all wearing CON shirts and headsets) rushed past me and shouted into his headset “can we get somebody to lock up the sauna? People keep having sex in there!” So there’s that.


When nerds party, they party like it’s the goddamn end of the world.

Since I had to perform and work the party room and blah blah, most of my partying happened after we closed up shop in the SuR room on Saturday (don’t get me wrong, I did my fair share of drinking while performing and working as well). Saturday night was goddamn madness. People were drinking and dancing like they were about to go to war the next day. I’d love know exactly how much booze was consumed because at our party room alone we handed out 20 cases of PBR Tall Boys and like a case and a half of Schwartzhog Liqueor –

It’s like Jag but better and not just because they sponsored our room and this might show up if they do a search on their product.

Seriously. These people were drinking like they had bionic livers. Vikings fresh off a pillage don’t drink like these people. I’ve been to every type of party you can imagine in my adult life and never did people down alcohol like they did at CONvergence. I tried to keep up and my hangover lasted for two solid days. I may as well have just hit myself over the head repeatedly with the bottles of booze rather than drink it because the end result would have been exactly the same. I drank so much I saw my spirit animal. Either that or a furry that I thought was a spirit guide.

I salute you, fellow nerds.


Everybody is awesome.
Everybody I interacted with was incredibly friendly and helpful. The convention organizers, volunteers, guests of the party room and audience members for the shows were just amazing. I met a lot of new friends and complete strangers came up to me and told me they like the blog (thanks!). The boozing and making fun of pervs is all well and good but this is the reason I’ll keep coming back.



My wife is the most awesome.
Jena Young is the person who got me my first pass to CON (not counting the one time I went briefly for The Scope podcast). She’s the one (along with the also great but less sexy Gus Lynch) who organized and ran the SuR party room. She’s the one who allowed me some time to sneak off from my party room duties for a while and run around. I owe a lot of people for the fun I had last weekend (special thanks to Dan Schlissel for producing the SuR party room and Gus for the HarmCon shows) but Jena made this happen for me and for that she deserves nothing but praise and footrubs.


So that was my CONvergence experience. Feel free to tell me yours in the comments. What did you love/hate/etc.?



See you nerds next year!


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7 Comments leave one →
  1. July 10, 2012 11:49 am

    ORANGE!

  2. Gen permalink
    July 10, 2012 12:21 pm

    Orange Crush loves having Stand Up Records as our CON neighbors! You guys rock the fuck out of our orange socks.

  3. July 10, 2012 2:00 pm

    In case you want to relive your early Scope-related CONvergence appearance. http://www.thescopeshow.com/episodes/episode-9-harassing-kids-at-convergence-makes-us-feel-better-about-our-sad-lives/

  4. Scruffy the Janitor permalink
    July 10, 2012 3:45 pm

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but Deadly Delights and the Zombie Tiki Bar party rooms usually spend $1000 or more EACH just on liquor. That said, our geeky compatriots are nice enough to tip. We usually make back at least 75% of that.

  5. Albatross permalink
    July 10, 2012 3:47 pm

    My observations on CON:
    1) Everybody else always seems to be having more fun than I even know how to have. I think this is all left over from a childhood as the outcast. That having been said, I had a lot of fun.
    2) I am glad that crossdressers feel safe enough at Con to indulge their interests. That having been said, crossdressing is not a costume per se, so slap on some wings or a ray gun or something. Get with the spirit!
    3) The same goes for you, ladies in corsets. Lasers or GTFO!
    4) I am hoping the Official Notice that Steampunk is Over is soon delivered from where ever such things emerge.
    5) Retro ST:TOS costumes? Yes please!

    • Random Girl permalink
      July 16, 2012 12:29 pm

      Can I please have “Lasers or GTFO” on a black t-shirt size medium please?

  6. Tim Silverthorn permalink
    July 11, 2012 10:54 am

    I’ve decided instead of going anywhere cool, say Mexico, or CON, it’s less effort, expense and, in the end, a richer experience to just let you do it and read your blog. If I went, I’d retain but a dim two-dimensional impression, whereas by reading your accounts, in 30 years I’ll vividly recall with great fondness these events, fully convinced that I had actually been there.

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