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Hot Mummy Armpits: The Continuing Tale of You Weirdos Typing Crazy Shit Into Search Engines.

June 12, 2012

This is pretty much a monthly thing now.

Once again I dive head first into the site stats to see what google searches led people to this blog because the only thing in the news right now is the Sandusky trial and something about Russia protests. I really don’t have anything to say about Sandusky except “I hope he goes to jail forever” and I don’t know anything about Russian politics. Also, I don’t want to get on Vladimir Putin’s bad side. Does not seem like the kind of guy you want to fuck with.

There are like two dozen pics of him on his wikipedia page and all but one contain this same cold, analytic stare. The one with him smiling seems even more terrifying somehow.

But enough about the scary Russian man. Let’s see what you freaks have been typing into google!

hot mummy armpits
Jesus. The worst part is that this could be one of two things and both are gross. There’s either somebody out there with one of the most specific fetishes I’ve ever heard of (I’m into monsters but only mummies and particularly their armpits) or it’s a british dude looking for old lady armpits.

any websites that you can ask women to take their bra off
Yes. Half of the internet is those sites. It’s called porn. Do… do you not know that porn exists?

does anybody like bitches?
I like to think that this was entered by a girl who was nice but thinking of becoming a bitch but wanted to know if that was the right move.

To answer the question, no. Bitches be crazy.

chinese horizontal vagina anatomy
Okay. I kind of remember referencing something in a blog a while back about that weird old stereotype about Chinese girls having sideways vaginas but I couldn’t actually recall when I wrote about it so I actually googled “youngnotions chinese sideways vagina” (life imitates art!) and I found this piece of finely crafted political satire.

What’s weird about this one is that this search shows the user isn’t completely stupid, given their use of words like “horizontal” and “anatomy” but it shows they’re pretty stupid because they’re asking the internet if Chinese girls have sideways vaginas.

the log ride turds
…I don’t even know what this person wants.

why does my dick shine in the light
Probably because you spend so much time waxing it! Boom! High five!

Seriously though you should have a doctor check that out if it’s really shiny.

Thanks for reading, confused perverts! Hopefully you were able to have some laughs even though you didn’t get the naked sasquatch pictures you were looking for or whatever.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 12, 2012 12:56 pm

    I will trade you “Hot Mummy Armpits” for “Lisa Whelchel in Pantyhose.”


  1. Putin Stomps Down Pussy Riot « Young Notions
  2. The Crazy Shit You Weirdos Type Into Search Engines: Season Two Starts… Now! « YoungNotions

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