Skip to content

We Need to Talk.

March 19, 2012

This is really hard for me but it’s something I’ve needed to say for a while. I can’t be with you anymore. I love you. Of course I still love you. How can I not? I’ll always love you but you’re not good for me and this relationship is becoming toxic.

Please just let me get this all out. I know we’ve known each other for so long that It’s hard to remember a time when we weren’t together. I first met you when I was just a kid. I honestly didn’t like you at first. You seemed bitter and off-putting but all the older at the people were so enamored with your charms. When I became older I started to see why. I’d keep running into you at parties and by spring break on my senior year of high school, we were inseparable.

Those nights we spent together in the first few years were magical. I’ll never forget. People warned me about you and how you chewed up and spit out stronger men than me but what we had was different. We were meant to be together. It was stupid to think that it would be like that forever. People grow and change but you started getting demanding as I got older. You wanted to do all the things that we did early on but I just can’t keep up anymore. I can’t be out all night, throwing my money away at you on the bar just to feel awful the next morning when you aren’t there. I just can’t drink you anymore, beer.

I thought we were special. I really did. When I was in my early twenties I could drink a dozen of you and not have a hangover as long as I had 6 hours of sleep. I thought maybe it was because I was special, because I was different than anybody else but lately I can’t even drink four of you without spending the entire next day on the toilet. What did I do to deserve this? I’ve always treated you with such reverence.

Now I know that I may be developing a mild gluten intolerance and there are gluten free versions of you out there but they’re so expensive. Sure, I’ve spent plenty of money when there’s a decent Belgian selection of you at a bar or I want to treat myself to some craft beers but one of the things I loved about you is that you were really affordable when I needed you to be.

So this is it. We’re done. I just can’t be with you anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to drink vodka and whisky but you and I are through. I’ll miss you.

A lady at the bar drew this picture of us together on St. Patrick's day. You always loved St. Patrick's day.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Lindsay permalink
    March 20, 2012 11:56 am

    You know, I have a similar relationship with Scotch. Minus the hangover part – it must be my Scottish heritage helping out there. Yep, I tried to give him up, but I keep sneaking back to him like some trollop looking for a booty call to turn into a relationship. Must be the accent. My condolences to you for your loss.


  1. Reverse Montezuma’s Revenge « Young Notions
  2. The Best and Worst of the Akumal Comedy Festival. « Young Notions

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: