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Google Racism

January 10, 2012

A while back Jena and I wanted some Chinese food and due to a recent switch to a dairy free lifestyle, she was concerned about those little donut things she loves having milk ingredients. I went to google “are chinese donuts dairy free” but right after I typed “are chinese” google decided it had an idea of what I was looking for.

Chinese fire drills are legal but only when conducted by a certified Chinese fire marshall.

Well, looks like I just invented a new game called –

Let’s See How Racist Google Auto-Complete Can be in Only Two Words.

People don’t know if Indians should celebrate Christmas because… what?

I’m not saying Google’s an Islamophobe but I just typed “are musl” and it was all “DID YOU KNOW MUSLIMS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD? SHARIA LAW! VICTORIA JACKSON WAS RIGHT!

Of course Australians eat Kangaroos. That’s what Vegemite is made of, right?

Of course Eskimos spend their lives in tiny houses made of ice blocks. They also “kiss” by rubbing their noses together. They also have 30 words for racist.

Wow. That one’s actually pretty bad, Google auto-complete. You’ve officially crossed over from cutesy “ignorant grandma” racism to full blown “guy with confederate flag shirt” racism. How can I end on a high note now? Oh, I know!

Are midgets not supposed to have night vision? Is somebody concerned about this? Look at all the suggestions on yahoo! answers. There’s seriously a bunch of answer sites dedicated to the midget/night vision thing. There’s even a facebook fan page dedicated to the fact that this exists on google.

Congratulations on being weirdly racist, google! I can’t wait to see the google doodle you make for the anniversary of Birth of a Nation.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Mark permalink
    January 10, 2012 1:17 pm

    In all fairness google does not choose what to fill it in with based on anything but the most popular searches. In reality this just means that people in general are racists.

    Have a good day.

    • January 10, 2012 1:45 pm

      That is in fact the tragedy component of this blog’s punchline, at least from what I read.

    • Bill permalink
      January 10, 2012 1:51 pm

      Nah, pretty sure google is just some racist guy.

  2. January 10, 2012 1:43 pm

    I won’t address the WHY as Mark has already done so quite well.

    I will say that asking google questions will limit your results. To have better Google Kungfu, you have to compose your searches based on the words you expect to find in your answer.

    Try “chinese food donuts lactose intolerant”.

  3. January 10, 2012 2:03 pm

    Clearly, midgets have night vision since they live in trees and feast at night. Google is awesome and the top searches only lend credence to my theory that people in general are much smarter than ever before.

  4. January 10, 2012 2:26 pm

    I think there needs to be follow up blog on whether or not Africans are, indeed, human.

    • Victor Bradley permalink
      May 4, 2012 8:35 am

      Sure, right after we have resolved the same question, concerning yourself.

  5. January 11, 2012 11:46 am

    Oh my goodness, this was my favorite post. Tears. TEARS of joy!


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