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Triple Double Bypass Surgery Not Included.

August 22, 2011
by

My weekend of bachelorhood was pretty uneventful.  I watched some movies, did some cleaning, made some curry and drank some beer.

Oh, I also bought Oreo’s newest fat delivery system, the The Triple Double Oreo.

Each package comes with a free suicide note safety pinned to a pair of dirty sweatpants

The Triple Double Oreo, which I can only assume was the brainchild of a Nabisco executive eating a Big Mac and thinking “This is tasty but what if it was a cookie?” Is a layer of cookie, a layer of creme (cream?  I don’t know what the proper spelling would be in this situation.  I’m gonna go with creme), another layer of cookie, a layer of chocolate creme and a layer of cookie.  After years of smashing cookies together in Nabisco’s LBC (Large Biscuit Collider) to try to find sweets that have only been theorized in the past, the Triple Double Oreo was finally born.

The only question remaining is where does Oreo go next?  Smooshing two cookies together and calling it one cookie is only the latest in their many, many variations of the Oreo but it feels like they’re running out of options. If any Nabisco idea people read this blog, you can have this idea for free.

 

OREO:  JUST THE CREME

This can be the product for all the Oreo creme lovers out there.  It’s like an Oreo cookie but without the cookie.  Inside the package is just a mass of creme.  I realize that eating that can be a bit of a mess without a spoon but I got that covered, too.  The package is a caulking gun.  Just point the nozzle at your mouth, pull the trigger, open wide, let the creme gush out and….

Okay, this sounds a lot more like a porn script than it did in my head five minutes ago.  Scratch the caulking gun.

I’ll get back to you on the packaging but think about it.  Oreo: Just the Creme.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 22, 2011 12:01 pm

    They need to make the double-stuffed-triple-double Oreo. That’s the next logical step.

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